i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize