Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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