I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize