I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We had sex on a dog bed..
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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