I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
