Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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