i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
