Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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