sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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