Ambien. No doubt about it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize