How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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