I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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