her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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