You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
