i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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