what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
