Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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