doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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