Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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