community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
