I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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