I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
