suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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