dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
