i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
