I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
