Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
