I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
