Im at strip club and am horny
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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