take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
