if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize