I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
