So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
