how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
