just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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