yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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