peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
