dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
