i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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