btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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