look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
