ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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