omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
