He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize