After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
