That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
