Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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