it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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