the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
accomplished twins. life is a go
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
