its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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