I can tuck mytits in my pants
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
