that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
