YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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