I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
