I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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