Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
