HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
