he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
True college students do jello shots in the library
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
