i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize