Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
