I could have mohawked her pubes.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
