I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
