Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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