You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
