It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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