he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
