You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
