I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize