She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
