I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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