I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
