you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
