I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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