u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
