Dual....:-)
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
