i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
